I want to add just one more point to my earlier posts on self-fulfillment. In our pursuit for fulfillment, we, sometimes, overdo it. We make ourselves so busy doing this and that we forget to take time to just rest!
At the back of our mind, we think that we have to keep ourselves busy so that we are not wasting time. There may be other reasons why we want to be busy and some of them are justified. For example, if we have just suffered a loss, it is a good idea to be busy to forget. The danger is when we become so busy that we can’t see the immediate needs or issues that have to be addressed.
A career woman, for example, may throw herself into her job and not have enough time for her children. A husband may work so hard to provide for his family that he misses out on getting to know his children and maintaining a good relationship with his wife.
So, we get caught up being busy and fail to attend to the real issues crying out for our attention. If we just stop for a moment and take stock of ourselves, we would realise that our busyness isn’t really fulfilling. We are doing things to cover up something else. If we can confront what that “something else” is and resolve it, we would find ourselves calmer and at peace with ourselves.
I remember those days when I would keep myself busy so that I don’t have to think about being alone! Then there’s the case of the wife who keeps herself busy — doing everything she can for her husband — only because deep inside she is scared she will lose him if she doesn’t! Or, the man who is busy making more and more money so that the family can maintain a certain lifestyle, though he wonders if it’s worth the cost.
When we face up to the real reason for our busyness, we can come to terms with ourselves and accept ourselves as we are. Once, I came to terms with being alone and, actually, began to enjoy it, I stopped always being on the go. I came to a point of rest, content.
Women who finally let go of their husbands and stop doing this and that for them for fear of losing them, come to terms with themselves. They may lose their husbands or get them back as better husbands, but they can take the risk, and in doing so come to a point of rest.
Men who stop making compromises for the sake of their paychecks and settle for a different lifestyle, come to terms with themselves, and to a point of rest.
In all of these cases and others we stop clamouring for things we can go without because we can accept ourselves and like ourselves as we are. That state is contentment, and it is fulfilling! Then, when we see others enjoying or doing these same things, we can say to ourselves, “well, that’s not who I am” and walk away from them, content as we are.
When we stop going from one project to another seeking fulfillment or being busy, and instead recognize our limitations, accept us as we are and adjust accordingly, we can find peace and contentment. It is an aspect of fufillment, living life to the full!
I’m no expert in these matters! I’m just sharing out of my own experiences and observations! I hope it makes you think!