I’ve finally come to terms with the fact that my youth is behind me! How do I know this? Well, after all these years, I now realise that there are many things I can’t change!
In the idealism of youth and in the knowledge of the power of faith, as far as I was concerned, anything can be changed! There is something naive about that attitude. You are so hopeful that you don’t see reality.
For me change is vital, it shows that I’m growing. In my life, I’ve applied faith in all the areas of life and things got better and better. I change and resolve. Unfortunately, for me, my greatest disappointment is when others don’t do the same.
It has taken me this long to realise that people are not necessarily on the same page as I am! And, I have to let them be. I can’t change them. Of course, God can, but until He does, instead of trying to institute change, I guess I have to adjust to them and to the situation that won’t change.
So, I just have to accept and deal with a leadership that despite promises of reform have used their advantageous position to hold on to power. I’ve to accept the fact that when I have to do business I have to make some under the counter payments to move my applications forward to success; when I commit a traffic infringement, I should be prepared to take my purse out to see how much RM I need to make available to make the deed go away.
When I go walking and see owners taking their dogs out and letting them poo on the road and the grass verge and not clean up after them, I should just let them be because I can’t change their attitude! When people double park and go for a drink and leave me honking, I should not get angry. That’s the way Malaysians are!
When women carry tales about me to other women and aid in estranging people from me, I should let them be because that’s the way they are. When men harass and bully me, I should let them be because that’s the way they are.
I have faith but I have not been able to change any of the above, although in all of the above, I have resisted the common practice and have had to pay the price, which I do by faith. Accepting reality is in a way saying that faith is limited by other humans’ shortcomings. Indeed it is. If people are not ready to change and those of faith don’t find the faith to change and grow, I, certainly, can’t make them. I, myself, can change but, they, I can’t. That is the reality that I have at last confronted and accept. I deal with it also by faith: Accept, forgive, forget, face the consequences and move on.
Writing this, something in me has stirred. I shouldn’t give up! I am no doubt growing older — by the second! But, as long as it is within my power to exercise faith and do something that will bring about good, I intend to do just that — even when I’m up and about at 90!
And, hope in Him will not disappoint me! That is what gives me this youthful perspective — despite accepting reality — to still act by faith to bring about change for the greater good when the opportunity presents itself. I think I am going to keep that perspective even as I grow older. Faith knows no time limit.