Valentine’s Day is over with, I’m sure, more than half the world not bothering about it, since it’s more a western cultural occasion. But, to those of us who are aware of it, it is a good day to think about love!
So, what is love? Each of us may have a different definition or understanding of love, and, I think, that is true in all our different experiences. Sometimes, I think, though they are all aspects of the same thing.
Today, I want to define what I believe true love fundamentally is. It is not a feeling. It’s not just an act of will. Love, for me, is a total mindset that is constantly reaching out to the people around us in every aspect of life. It is such a powerful overwhelming motivation that it is able to remove and overcome every obstacle in its way for the sake of the well-being of the other person.
This is the kind of love parents have for their children, siblings for each other and friends for other friends. And, between two people who truly love each other. It’s not just love that doesn’t let go of the person loved; it’s a love that empowers one to reach out to the other for the other’s good.
I’ve not experienced love like that! Well, that’s not completely true. I experience it, but, only with God. If not for His love, I would not be the person I am now. Maybe, that’s why I’m not married! Just can’t find a man who measures up to the Godly example I revel in!
Some of you are parents, so, you know what I mean. A parent never gives up on helping a child become better. The parent may back off for a while to give the child space to find himself or herself. If at all the parent gives up, it is very likely because he or she does not have the skills or resources to beat the odds or the child is beyond redemption.
Nevertheless, that parent knows that that love compels him or her. And, the child will pick it up and never forgets.
If we can not give love like that, then, we shouldn’t start it. But, if for whatever reason we are in a relationship where such a love can’t be found, the best thing to do is to get out of it — if we have a choice. If we don’t, I guess, just make the best of it!
This Valentine’s Day, I had company. A young man and an older one! They are Americans who were visiting and we could only meet up on Valentine’s Day! Nothing romantic, but it was enjoyable chatting and connecting over Indian tea (milk tea with an array of savoury and sweet snacks!). When we are secure in an outwardly reaching love, it is easy to love in different ways: a friend to a friend, a sibling to a sibling, a lover to a lover. It’s love — more than money — that makes the world go round and round!