As I grow older, I realise that there are even more things I don’t know anything about! When I was younger I was pretty clear about the issues I confronted. Growing older, however, and, perhaps, knowing more I seem to know even less!
There are so many things I don’t know: why things happened they way they did; why some suffer more than others; why there’s so much of pain and suffering; why some of that pain and anguish is needless; why it couldn’t have been avoided; why the shame is so unbearable; why there’s no escape, etc, etc, etc…. .
I don’t know the answers. But, one thing I do know. No matter what the pain, suffering, struggle or shame and no matter how deep it is, we need to move on.
Moving on is the way out. We need to leave the negativity behind and every day take a step or more to move forwards. While watching an episode of the TV show Designated Survivor today, I heard a phrase which expresses my point clearly. The lead star — the US president — is in counselling to deal with the grief of the loss of his wife in an accident. The counsellor observes that staying with his grief is like treading water.
In a moment of realisation, the president says, “You know what happens when you tread water for long? (Heavy pause) You drown.” (I often get pearls of wisdom from TV scripts!)
Taking those first few steps to swim is moving forwards and on. After a while, we realise we have been swimming in the place where we used to get stuck in and the memory of it fades away. We heal.
That’s what moving on does: We live and life is a powerful medicine to heal.